A Friend?


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Two friends of mine share the same name. I learnt something  thinking about the 2 of them today.

What made me compare them was a disappointing interaction with friend #2. So let’s analyze the interaction.

Friend #2 is a skeptic. I think this quality enables her to live inquisitively. It also makes the world appear very pessimistic if seen only from her perspective. She understands that and challenges her outlook constantly. This makes her a beautiful person. Lately, she has been going through a rough phase in life where things aren’t going her way.

You can trully understand a person’s core being when they are extremely happy or extremely sad.

Note: Understand and not judge, because that’s not what friends do.

What if you understand that the person is not happy about your happiness/ achievements.

That she doesn’t find you worthy of your achievements.

What happens when you understand that your friend is not capable of accepting selfless love and kindness.

Friend #2 thinks about me in such a light. It was not a mood or a phase. That is her core being.

What do you do when you understand that this friend who you love and respect feels this way.

I was angry. I wanted to confront her and have a logical conversation. But you don’t influence a person’s beliefs with an argument.

That’s where friend #1 came to my mind.

#1 taught me an important thing. She taught me about the significance of being selfless. She would help without a motive and just be nice. Everybody loved her because she was always there to genuinely help and make you feel better. She made me realize that everyone wants to be treated with respect and love. You can’t overdo the selflessness if you are genuine. Did she have dark days? of course! but that didn’t stop her. I decided to do what she would have done.

I decided to understand that #2 is a certain way. I decided to not cut ties.I decided to be selfless and love her anyway.

Why? Well,

  1. Because if I decide what she deserves, we aren’t any different.
  2. Relationships are like sedimentary rocks. They are forged by layers of experiences over time. Kindness and solidarity in bad times make for a thin deposit which is insignificant in the larger scheme of things.
  3. #1 made me learn that being the bigger person gives you happiness in the long term.

In the end, just remember-

Believe in yourself, believe in your choices.

It’s what got you here.

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